Our UFO has landed quietly last night in a densely populated coordinate at a region humans refer to as Germany. This particular congregation was generating so much noise we were compelled to study the anomaly.

As we approached the boiling source of haphazard frequencies, our superb training took over. We were well-trained to investigate any unusual source and level of human commotion and report immediately back to our ZX-879 headquarters. Turning on our invisibility shield helped us get really close to the subject of examination without being detected.

As we reached the egg shaped concrete container filled with 100,000 or so human subjects, the noise level rose to such unimaginable heights that we had to shut down our frequency analyzers for fear of damaging their sensitive circuitry.

When we cleared the top of the concrete structure we were blinded with thousands of light-emitting radiation sources.

Then we saw them -- 22 voluntary humans darting back and forth in alternating sequences of random and seemingly-goal-oriented sprints. We have checked our central computer to decipher the modal characteristic of such kinetic outbursts and we were advised to locate the focal source of coordinated agitation.

This we did with our high powered observation antennas and had to agree that the tiny little spherical object that was floating here and there within perfect Brownian Motion parameters was the central regulator of all the sounds waves and hormone levels within that concrete structure. We never thought such a small object could control the system variables of so many non-objects instantaneously. So we recorded the fact as we were trained to do in our observation pods.

When the spherical object entered into one of the net-covered square receptacles at one end of the green rectangle, the levels of heat, noise, and emotional and chemical discharges erupted to a previously unrecorded level.

And thats when the disaster struck

At that exact moment of terrestrial frenzy, our own Venerable Captain Star Ice, who is known for his coolheaded analysis and time-tested platinum nerves under all conditions of adversity, started to emit a guttural perturbation that soon increased its pitch to a high decibel roar:

Gooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll !!!!

Not knowing how to cure this brand new ailment that befell our valiant leader, we had to dispatch immediately back to our space ship. We had to defend ourselves against this strange mono-tone reverberation since our bioshields did not offer sufficient protection.

As we now pass through the outer Zodiac belt that welcomes us to our mother planet, our highly-decorated Venerable Captain Star Ice is still roaring that single phrase that he got contaminated with back on earth.

But since we almost had our fuel depleted due to this unexpected detour on the way back home, we have channeled his roar into our rear propelling system and have actually used that ear-splitting syllable to bring us back home trouble free. The day earthlings discover a way to turn all that Brownian Motion Discharge Within a Concrete Bowl into useful energy, we might have new rivals in the universe.

But until then, there is nothing the Star Council should be worried about. The humans are still busy either darting back and forth on a green rectangle or cheering and applauding every such move until they get dizzy and reach out for inebriating liquids.

We think they will be busy for many lifetimes and generations trying to connect with a round object too small to see even with our isotope analyzers. We project we are safe for another million light years to come.

P.S. Venerable Captain Star Ice should be kept under strict observation for any explosive relapse of his single-syllable ailment. Recurrence of the anomaly could mean the onset of an earthly epidemic against which our medical science does not yet have a cure.